my cousin (dr) sarah and husband FOB (safiya's parents) are expecting. congratulations! i would like to wish all the best to both of them on this wonderful news.so basically whether you found out yesterday or a few months ago, here are a few tips about sharing your status. you'll also find some creative, fun ways to announce your pregnancy.
- know that some women wait until a little further along, in case of an early miscarriage. if this is a concern for you consider waiting until after the first three months, when the rate of miscarriages drops.
- understand that some women call everyone they know the minute they find out they're pregnant. this group feels that in an event of a pregnancy loss, they'll cope better with informed friends and family to support them.
- tell your partner first then decide who else to tell. do you want your co-workers to know about your pregnancy? how about your friends from high school? grandma and grandpa? be careful who you tell, and in what order.
- remember this is his child, too. with rising home pregnancy test usage, your partner may have been there with you, holding your hand and waiting for the results. if your husband, boyfriend, or partner doesn't know yet, consider more than just "hey, i'm pregnant". this is an exciting and special moment, one the both of you will remember forever. if this is an unexpected—and possibly undesired—pregnancy, be as calm as possible and allow the other person time to digest the news. the first reaction is not always indicative of the true feelings.
- choose a way to share your news so that you do not just come right out and tell people that you are pregnant but use a creative way. leave the pregnancy test on the bathroom counter.
- make a romantic dinner for the two of you. while your partner is expecting a four-course meal, you'll serve baby-esque food: baby-backed ribs, baby carrots, and baby's apple juice served in little sippy cups. for dessert, serve baby teething cookies.
- have a movie night and rent baby-related movies: nine months, junior, baby's day out, etc. write your good news on a piece of paper and place it inside a dvd or vhs case. choose the first movie—not the one with the note. when the movie ends, get up to go the bathroom and tell your partner to put in the movie you selected. wait for him to read the note. come out of the bathroom, smiling and saying, "it's true!".
- wait for a holiday and literally "give" your partner the news. buy a t-shirt with DADDY written on it, a baby-related key chain, a baby book, as well as a few baby items, and put them in a gift bag. cover with tissue paper and then have him open it.
- take bubble bath. run your partner a bath adding lots of bubbles. write a sweet letter announcing the news, wrap it in a plastic baggie, and pop it into a baby bottle. hide the baby bottle under the bath bubbles. when your partner gets into the bath they'll feel something, find the bottle and read the note.
- play scrabble. do your best to choose only words that are baby-related.
- take a shower together. write on your belly in washable marker, "Baby On Board" and allow your partner to get in the shower first.
- order a cake from a bakery. request the word, Daddy to be written on it. then ask your partner to pick the cake up for you and bring it home because you're too busy to go yourself.
- send a card with the good news, chosen name, and a copy of the sonogram. this depends how far along you are, of course. otherwise you could just take a picture of you and your partner and include that, with or without your proud belly showing.
- have a backyard BBQ. while everyone is eating, stand up and make a toast. say, "we just want to thank everyone for coming here today. it means a lot for us to have our friends here. by the way, we're having a baby. so, who wants dessert?". everyone will burst out laughing, ask if you're serious, and then celebrate!
- leave a baby name book out somewhere around the house.
tips
- the sooner you share your news, the sooner you can begin planning the baby shower, choosing names, and buying essential baby furniture and clothes. there is a lot to do in the nine months before your child is born.
- get creative and brainstorm some ideas of your own. personalize the announcement in any way you choose. this is your child and you can have as much fun as you want!
warnings
- if you want to wait to share your news, keep in mind that vomiting, a growing belly, and multiple visits to a doctor may inadvertently spill the beans for you. if the pregnancy becomes too difficult to hide, you may want to announce your pregnancy now, when you can still surprise people. otherwise you may lose that exciting element.
- be aware of your timing. your good news may rub salt in someone else's wound. did your sister-in-law miscarry last week? be sensitive to her feelings as well. imagine how you would feel.
- never announce your pregnancy while in an argument. this is tacky and ruins what should be a special occasion. screaming, "well i'm pregnant, so you'll never be out this late again! kiss your friends goodbye!" is a horrible memory for the both of you. having a child is an adult decision, so act like one.
- again, people's first reactions aren't always their true feelings. don't be offended if people are surprised. weren't you?
- know your partner. some men would enjoy the methods described above, and some would prefer a more serious approach. make sure that you make a night to remember for a good reason, and not a bad one.
kuE's note: sarah's pic taken by my sister last month.
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