Thursday, June 30, 2005


a close friend V send a message via YM two days ago. its normal for me... he apologized for not being able to get in touch for so long, besides bz as alwiz, he lost his fon. an 02 dammit! told him about my +/- one-week holiday this august and asked him to guess hows my dad's look like. here's what he said... " sure panjang muka dia".

the last time we met wr around early april. i read his message that morning from YM (too) as soon as i switched-on my office puter. he told me that he wld be in ipoh for work and asked to meet me for lunch. instead i replied him thru sms to confirm with him on the appointment. so we had lunch at secret recipe, k.c. and bersembang there for hours. actually i had a lot of work to do that day but since my dad and me wr having a damn great fight that morning (biasalah, different generation, different thoughts), thats why i decided to see V. at least i cld release some of my geramness hehe...

how did i know V? well... eventually we have known each other for so many years already. we worked at the same place before when i was in subang. after quite some time there, we went off our own separate way. now, we met again maybe. the rest was history.

he told me once that the safest place for us to meet is in ipoh because no one will know us ~ my place? no way. most of the people here know me, he knows that. k.l.? jauh sekali, itupun kalau terpaksa. i think we met more in ipoh then any other places. kl maybe like twice or so ~ once during a "saya" exhibition at tropics, d.p. my sister was one of the participants, so i went there with my family to give her some supports. i didn't know much about V yet that time, vice-versa. i mean, what he was doing since we last met. thats why i were so surprised when i met him there, then only i slowly found-out that he is one of the elite well-known man in the city, also in the country. eee.... malunya. a cousin and his wife who live somewhere there also know him. his wife were asking me, "u pun kenal dia?". i juz smiled and angguk-angguk. he also started knowing more about me then.

hmm... we met once in his place in ipoh in december. let me say that it was a nite to remember tho' for both of us. hey... no s-- okay, he only fulfill his promised of doing some massage on me blah blah blah...

gee... enough about V, maybe more some other time huh?!! lol... this is end-of-month lor... still have piles of works on my desk i.e. audit, reports, etc. i have to send them to the sales office by mid of next week!!! grr...

Tuesday, June 28, 2005


hie world!

looks like the weather would be so fine today. its haze here and there. i can't even saw the sun yesterday.

actually i'm not that good in writing. i've been so eager to do this from long time ago. i did try to write my own hand-written diary many years back. eventually i stopped when i've just started to do it, i dunno why. besides that i knew that my mom read it secretly. so i decided to throw it away and forget about it. now that i found this blog thing, guess this idea would be more fine. i promised myself anyway to do this as far as i could ;)

ok well... i've been wanted to tell you this last saturday morning itself but i do not have the time to sit here and do the blah blah blah... lol. david called! that was about 4 in the morning (i usually wake up around 5). there's no school but i still have to be awake and get ready early that morning tho' cuz my dad went to seremban, his second wife's place. so i have to be there and open our shop. i was rather shocked when heard david's voice :)

he asked of whats happening to me as he never heard from me for nearly 2.5 months. gosh... hard to answer that huh?!!... he told me that he misses me sooo much. it seems that he is working long hours everyday to save more money to be able to fly over here and start new life with me. he also thought of sending flight tickets to canada for me arrgghhh... thats sounds fun. the last time i went overseas was in '98 if i'm not mistaken for my sister's graduation from IC london, england. well, i'm going for a week holiday in beijing in early august. the best thing is i didn't tell david yet! dunno whats he gonna say. a trip to his place is great too, but its hard to tell and convince my parents especially my dad. i know i could imagine mom's fierce looking face. i'm sure they are afraid to let me go alone.

i didn't talk much with jai these few days as he was damn busy, only a short tele-conversation yesterday. he was not feeling well and got a break.

i guess i better get going now. lotsa work to do. i have some nice pics to show to the world, maybe later ok. i am so proud of them (the pics that i'm gonna show) because i dun think some of you bloggers out there know about what we have here.

'till then...

Saturday, June 25, 2005

single life...

its hard to be single altho' it sounds great, as we dun have to deal with anyone to compromise lol. whatever things we do, we could decide ourself, no one to argue with. thats what happened to me till now since i stop sharing my life with anothe guy called husband. he cheated me! so what the heck i would stay even tho' he persuaded me with all his sweet words. now u knew that i'm a tough woman! haha...

years past and as time goes by, i'm still alone raising my two kidz. i have lotsa friends especially guys. knew most of them thru life, net, etc. they are all will remain as "juz friends" in my phrase. one of the many guys that i knew is a canadian. we were trying to convince ourself to be together. it seems that he will let go whatever he have (work, family & friends) for him to come over here and settle down with me. but everytime i asked him whether he's ready to convert to my religion, there's alwiz a silence in that and that kept me puzzled about him. he is a nice guy, really. only that one thing always in mystery. so late last year i decided for not contacting him and just let see whats the out-come would be.

well i can't deny that i'm also one of the human in this world that need someone to love and be love, someone to care for and be cared too, also someone to have sex with vice-versa. i could say that i missed all that for almost six years. well, a friend or two did help me a few times before. that wuz quite few years back. i would feel more lonely when my kidz not around. i would usually send them to the city for school holidays cuz i dun have much time as my work commitments are so tight. i dun have to worry about that as they would be in a good care of my sisters.

early this year, i knew a local guy jai, from a chat group. i wuz one of the active chatters there, seldom now hehe... there's some other guys that i knew there too but we are all juz keep our friendship normal. but this guy that i knew hooked on me, what when he knew that i am from the same kampung as him. he is working in a music industry in the city. i know thats a tough job that needs full commitments cuz' my brother is in the same line too! some of his (my bro.) work wr including PGL, sepet, tv ads like vitagen, mcD, petronas etc. the first time we met (jai) wuz juz a quick one as i wuz rushing to go back from a kenduri in KD. my heart wuz beating fast as i wuz afraid same thing would happened twice. he's a regular guy, looks nice and good, chubby tho'. but i know looks not important but the heart. he like me immediately but not me... like i said earlier, i wuz afraid that i got the wrong guy again! i found him really nice, after a few meets. now we would meet every few weeks. we would be more on phone but seldom this one to two weeks as both of us are busy with our workloads. sometimes we would hang together late at nite without sleeps till morning... my eyes would be like zombies by the day lol.

the difficult thing now is that i never tell my parents yet about jai. its the other way round, on his side. my family is so particular for me to have a relationship with someone, to have same level lar... blah, blah, blah... grr... luckily he understands me, he'll wait for me till no matter when i could accept him as my life-time guy although that would be like another 30 years. wow!... thats so romantic. i do missed him a lot. mwahh...

well, i feel glad that i have an on-line blog now. i really like this idea. i promised myself that i'll keep this blog for as long as i live. at least i could write/type something no matter when or from where i wanna do it. this way, it will be safe not like a written diary where it surely could be found by someone and he or she could read it!!!


Friday, June 24, 2005

long time huh?!!...

yea... its really damn long since the first one. i've been busy all the time with my workload what to accomodate my two kids too. thank god, i'm single now since my divorce almost 6 years ago. at least i can do whatever i wanna without obligation. but one thing that alwiz blocked me are my parents ~ treating me like small one (u know what i meant)! grr...

i've been back here in hometown since 2003, worked all the time since then. sounds damn stressfull. luckily a grand-auntie called few weeks ago asking whether i wanna join her in a group trip to beijing from 4 to 9 august with a very good deal. hey, why not... RM1,700.00 lump sum of the whole trip including return flight, visa, accomodations in a 5-star hotel and food. who wanna pull this one right, what when i need some break after almost two years of working non-stop. ghee... can't wait tho'. i just have to make sure that everything is in order before i go i.e. pre-plan, stocks, staffing etc.

wokay, back to work!