its hard to be single altho' it sounds great, as we dun have to deal with anyone to compromise lol. whatever things we do, we could decide ourself, no one to argue with. thats what happened to me till now since i stop sharing my life with anothe guy called husband. he cheated me! so what the heck i would stay even tho' he persuaded me with all his sweet words. now u knew that i'm a tough woman! haha...
years past and as time goes by, i'm still alone raising my two kidz. i have lotsa friends especially guys. knew most of them thru life, net, etc. they are all will remain as "juz friends" in my phrase. one of the many guys that i knew is a canadian. we were trying to convince ourself to be together. it seems that he will let go whatever he have (work, family & friends) for him to come over here and settle down with me. but everytime i asked him whether he's ready to convert to my religion, there's alwiz a silence in that and that kept me puzzled about him. he is a nice guy, really. only that one thing always in mystery. so late last year i decided for not contacting him and just let see whats the out-come would be.
well i can't deny that i'm also one of the human in this world that need someone to love and be love, someone to care for and be cared too, also someone to have sex with vice-versa. i could say that i missed all that for almost six years. well, a friend or two did help me a few times before. that wuz quite few years back. i would feel more lonely when my kidz not around. i would usually send them to the city for school holidays cuz i dun have much time as my work commitments are so tight. i dun have to worry about that as they would be in a good care of my sisters.
early this year, i knew a local guy jai, from a chat group. i wuz one of the active chatters there, seldom now hehe... there's some other guys that i knew there too but we are all juz keep our friendship normal. but this guy that i knew hooked on me, what when he knew that i am from the same kampung as him. he is working in a music industry in the city. i know thats a tough job that needs full commitments cuz' my brother is in the same line too! some of his (my bro.) work wr including PGL, sepet, tv ads like vitagen, mcD, petronas etc. the first time we met (jai) wuz juz a quick one as i wuz rushing to go back from a kenduri in KD. my heart wuz beating fast as i wuz afraid same thing would happened twice. he's a regular guy, looks nice and good, chubby tho'. but i know looks not important but the heart. he like me immediately but not me... like i said earlier, i wuz afraid that i got the wrong guy again! i found him really nice, after a few meets. now we would meet every few weeks. we would be more on phone but seldom this one to two weeks as both of us are busy with our workloads. sometimes we would hang together late at nite without sleeps till morning... my eyes would be like zombies by the day lol.
the difficult thing now is that i never tell my parents yet about jai. its the other way round, on his side. my family is so particular for me to have a relationship with someone, to have same level lar... blah, blah, blah... grr... luckily he understands me, he'll wait for me till no matter when i could accept him as my life-time guy although that would be like another 30 years. wow!... thats so romantic. i do missed him a lot. mwahh...
well, i feel glad that i have an on-line blog now. i really like this idea. i promised myself that i'll keep this blog for as long as i live. at least i could write/type something no matter when or from where i wanna do it. this way, it will be safe not like a written diary where it surely could be found by someone and he or she could read it!!!
kuE
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