we are supposed to go for bowling this morning but my dad asked us to go tomorrow instead. it seems that he is going to kl today and only be back tomorrow morning. the difficult thing was to think of other plan to convince my son. so i promised to bring him to the playground this evening. also maybe going out for breakfast at mcD tomorrow (?) *gosh*
he thinks i dunno whats he up to huh?!! he would tell everyone the same thing whenever its the time for him to go out at least once a week. he would say kl but actually he went to seremban, the second part of his other half. hahaha... is this correct lol. this really makes my heart broken once i knew about this myself few months ago. unofortunately i didn't record the date damn it. well its good to know something that we don't like ourself right rather than we knew it from someone else. fuhh... it really hurts.
i just came back from a few days off. i saw something weird that morning in my office' trash bin! some typed papers were hand-schredded. i took them and tried to join them although i knew that it may take some time. i'm a big girl lor... within a few joined i could already figure out what was that all about. i was about to cry but try to stop there as i knew i would be facing my staff later also the publics. i really cannot cope with my jobs that day. i don't dare to ask my mom as i'm not that close with her than my dad. i was so angry with him as he never tell me about this thing. so i decided to ask V. i sms him first, telling that i got something to tell. i was afraid if i would disturbed him. but then he called me. so i told him about the whole thing happened that morning. V advised me to ask my dad slowly and be calm as he knew that i am much more close to my dad than his other kids. i never did!!! until now. even he never tell me about it himself. too scared to tell or what?
once i reached home after work that day, i quickly went up to my room and hid the papers that i found under my pillow (like those dramas lol). i just kept the bad news to myself that day. the next morning i went to my mom's room. she just finished performing her prayers while crying, from what i could saw from her red eyes. so i thought to myself that this must got something to do with what i found! i asked her, "ma, why you cry". she replied "err... takde takde". i didn't questioned further, went out of her room left her alone.
i came back to her after i send both my kids to school. i told her about the incident as short as possible but right to the point. she just cried while saying, "betul lar tu". she could saw my angry face. she told me not to ask dad anything, let it just be. she also advised me to act normal and as a god daughter to treat my dad as good as possible, not to bother his personal life. other than that, she asked me to take a very good care of the business.
what i could say is... deep in my heart i am so angry of what he have done. i was so fortunate that i found the papers first after my dad left the same office that same morning. luckily my staff didn't clear my office yet as the supervisor only started work at 10.30 that day!
i remember that he alwiz not satisfied if i never tell him about my personal life. well how about him right. he was the one who taught us all this type of secretive thing. whatever it is, i love you so much papa...
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