BFF—best friends forever

….if only.

i’ve never had a “best friend”. at least not in school. i don’t even think i had anyone i could really call a “friend” back then. they were all just acquaintances.

but, things changed. i met some people who changed my life around, completely; i.e. one walked out of my life because of a choice i made. another’s been screwing with my head and the last one’s stuck on.

why this post? well, one of the main reasons i blog is to talk about things, i can’t talk about elsewhere. in other words, to vent! this one’s about someone who are (supposed to be) my BFF. actually, just about the one that’s screwing with my head!

she and i did not “bond” instantly. but once we hit it off, it was madness all around. i wouldn’t say we were inseparable, but we were part of each other’s lifes in every way. when it came to our core beliefs and views on life, there were poles apart. but that didn’t matter one bit. at least not then.

things are different now. she hangs out with people who are “cooler(?)” than us. has someone in her life, who’s giving her all the emotional support she needs. and basically, i don’t come anywhere in the picture anymore. except, EXCEPT, once in a blue moon, when she happens to remember me. an occasional call? nahhh!...

when was the last time we met up, just so… uhhh… DUNNO. when was the last time she asked me what’s happening in my life, and really wanted to know and didn’t ask for formality sake…. not in a looooooooooooong time @#%#$$%#$ !!

i’m pissed beyond words. i can’t believe i let her effect my life this way. no matter how much i pretend that this doesn’t effect me, or that this is no big deal because she’s just like those other people who walked in and out of my life without a second thought, its not the same. not this time. things looked different this time around. i believed things were different this time. and i gave it my ALL. i shouldn’t have.

i’ve withdrawn. does she notice? no. disappointment is written all over my face. does she care? NO! she is right. can i be right once in a while? no. is she embarrassed to call me her BFF? i don’t know. she didn’t have a problem claiming that once upon a time. now i know what kind of a role i play in her life.

its always been about her. and i’ve taken it. when you get close to someone, you tend to ignore little things that would have otherwise bothered you. but now all i can see are the faults, the negatives, the bad times. and I’m hating it. hating every bit of it. i can’t pretend to be ok with everything when i talk to her or meet her. things are NOT ok. things will not be ok. not until we talk it out. but will that happen? no. why? because she still hasn’t realized something is wrong.

what am i going to do about this? i don’t know.

is it time to step back? to move on…?

friendship tag

i was on my visit to Nyumix's blog when i find this interesting tag about friendship—

and lovely are the blossoms
that are tended with great care,
by those who work unselfishly
to make the place more fair

and, like the garden blossoms,
friendship's flower grows more sweet
when watched and tended carefully
by those we know and meet

and, if the seed of friendship
is planted deep and true
and watched with understanding,
friendship's flower will bloom for you

start copying here:

here are the rules for this tag:

1. copy the badge and put it on your blog.
   
2. link back who pass you this special TAG.
   
3. spread this tag to at least 7 or more bloggers who you think you are friend with.

end copying here:

i want to share this wonderful friendship tag to the following blogger buddies:

1. WNA
   
2. Yani
   
3. DNAS
   
4. Myasefia
   
5. Eyna
   
6. Oning
   
7. Johnny Ong

misunderstanding is nothing but way to better understanding

understanding is the baseline of friendship. friendship which stands on the foundation of understanding is difficult to collapse.

two friends interwoven in friendship hardly misunderstand each other. i used the word "hardly" because "never" would be an exaggeration. a time does come when misunderstanding crops up, but friends never let the wild grass grow and ruin their so-carefully cultivated garden of friendship. this is the sign and identity of lifelong friendship. a misunderstanding can never stand long in friendship.

in friendship. it so happens that one tends to accept the other as he/she is, with the shortcomings. even if two friends have different view about a particular topic, they tend to listen to and adjust with other's view point, thus leaving no place for any sort of misunderstanding.

sometimes misunderstanding helps the friends to come closer. thus...

misunderstanding! when it comes and when it goes is hardly noticed! though it's a transient phase, it may be sometimes more painful than lifetime pain. this pain makes two friends realize the importance of the other in their life. that's why i say, "misunderstanding helps friends to come closer!". correct kay? ;)

you may be friends for a long time but you never realize the importance of your friend in your life unless a misunderstanding crops up. take for instance two friends who know each other for quite a long time. they share their feelings, love etc. by some means, a misunderstanding crop up and the two friends lose contact, they do not call up each other, do not talk to each other or do not see each other. this transient phase of misunderstanding is heart-felt. during this phase, they miss each other and run for patch up. it's during this transient phase, that lots of things, facts develop.

in short, a better understanding develops out of misunderstanding.

when friends have, amongst themselves, any kind of misunderstanding they cannot concentrate in their work, not even routine work. they tend to get irritated on any small topic. it seems as if something is biting their heart, unknowingly tears accumulate in the eyes and these tears clear all the dirt, the misunderstanding is solved.

two friends who come out of misunderstanding resemble the gold, which comes out of fire. 'that' gold is more shining and more pure, as impurities die off in fire.

thus, misunderstanding is nothing but way to better understanding.

"friends, successfully coming out of misunderstanding, hand in hand are replaceable and more true in friendship."

"no mind can ever think of any idea to break their friendship. because of friendly misunderstanding, friends come close to each other, know each other well enough which prevents the recurrence."

the day i met lynn again

here's a cute lil' poem for my forever friends...

sometimes in life,
you find a special friend;
someone who changes your life
just by being part of it.
someone who makes you laugh
until you can't stop;
someone who makes you believe
that there really is good in the world.
someone who convinces you
that there really is an unlocked door
just waiting for you to open it.

this is forever friendship.
when you're down,
and the world seems dark and empty,
your forever friend lifts you up in spirit
and makes that dark and empty world
suddenly seem bright and full.
your forever friend gets you through
the hard times, the sad times,
and the confused times.
your forever friend holds your hand
and tells you that
everything is going to be okay.
and if you find such a friend,
you feel happy and complete,
because you need not worry.
you have a forever friend for life,
and forever has no end.

this is one of the most happiest day of my life! the day i met lynn, my very good friend ever again. we were separated for 10 years or so. i finally found her recently at her friend mira's facebook.

earlier of the day, i attended a christmas cupcakes class at ICCA in section 14, pj. at the same time i took the chance for a meet with lynn.

o yes... first of all, before i forgot... i would also like to thank my lovely sis CK for asking me to join facebook. if not of her who persuaded me to register there, i do not think i would find lynn by now. tqsm sis!

so when i saw lynn's pic in mira's album, i told myself that luckily i knew mira too. lynn is not much into IT. lynn promised me to get herself more involve into puter after this hehe...

as you could see from the above pic (taken by lynn's hubby of eight years), we looked radiantly happy together. a one hour plus meet was just not enough. we surely gonna meet more again after this. apparently that was supposed to be a surprise meet. unfortunately mira was damn busy that day till late evening, that she called lynn earlier to tell her about it. lynn called me instead. i answered to the unknown number cuz i thought maybe mira was calling. how happy i was that time when i heard lynn's voice, only He knows! lynn came with her hubby and their four years old son adam.

to cut the story short for you people, lynn and i were together during our holiday villa days since 1989. she was also the one who helped me during my ups and downs life that time. whats more when i was having my hard times with my ex-husband. she was always there for me. after a few years together, she joined kl's shang. then maybe we lost contact few years after that, i really can't recall that moment. and here we were together, met again at shang's lobby lounge. i am the most happiest woman in the world right now!

till then people, have a great night. i am going to bed now even though i do not think that i could sleep yet, as i am still feeling on top of the world. i am going to force myself to sleep anyway. there's a lunch appointment tomorrow with another someone special in my life. nite-nite people!